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Saturday, November 26, 2011

The Daily Ritual, Making Ourselves Whole to Face The World

Your Morning Ritual. What It Takes to Get Up (And Get It Up) Every Morning

Oh brother, another day, another dollar.

Some of us are morning guyz and it is much easier for us to start the day than it is for some of us who are night guyz.

Being a morning guy, I love waking up early, plob out of bed, do my 35 pushups and head for the bathroom to shit, shave and shower.

If the weather is nice, I like to do some of the workout outside, but for now, it is still dark when I leave for work.

If you're a night guy, then it is harder for you to start off your mornings. Perhaps a good blow job or a nice splash of cold water does the trick for you. Or a big cup of java. If you have some special rituals that make your mornings more fun before heading out the door to work, please share them with the rest of us.

I know if I start the day out right, the rest of the day most often falls into place. However when I don't get enough shut eye, then I find that I don't usually have the best of days. Being prepared to face another day is half the battle.

If you are reading this before heading out the door, I want this to be your best day this week.
Starting off with mega hairy muscle hugs will make it even better. After all, you are the greatest guyz in the world.



Hottie and other Terms of Endearment

Terms of Endearment

Have you noticed reading various blog posts, when guys want to acknowledge a great guy, we give them cute names like WOOFY, Stud and Hunky.

There are many cute names I use and have seen other guys use.
Here are some of my favorites.

Sweet Cheeks: when you see a really hot ass, use this.

Bubble Butt: same here, with added emphasis.

Fuzzy Butt: same as above but with nice fur.

Hottie: a guy who arouses your senses.

Gruf: a hairy faced hunk with an edge.

Fuzzyface: a really nice bearded guy.

Thunderthighs: a dude with really nice legs.

Cutie Pie: a younger guy who turns you on.

Musclestud/musclebear/musclecub: great bod, the latter with nice furry chest and great pecs.

Beefybud: muscular in all the right places.

There are probably many others. If you have a favorite, let me know.

All of you to me are my studbuds. Take care, men. WOOF.
 
Here's what I'm talking about:
 









 

Friday, November 25, 2011

Who's Your Daddy?

A Dad's Demeanor. . . A Daddies' Devotion

This time of year for me is one of reflection.

We find nature going through changes, a change from production to rest.

I can remember my own dad guiding me, through what I considered to be a life or death challenge, to make my own decisions. His direction was always considerate of my feelings. However I had to live with my decisions and face whatever consequences evolved.

I look back now at how much he said without ever saying anything. I admired him for that. His advice was never dictorial, never harsh. It was even balanced and remarkably on target.

In our role as top men, we too are in a position of leadership. We are required to make decisions that determine committment, sexual pleasure, and toleration. It is a role that we should not take lightly.

When you've found your life partner, you accept the whole man, the whole committment. It's not half ass, picking and choosing; it's the whole shebang.

The only way I've found to make this work is devotion. Daddies need to provide stability in the relationship. They must gently guide and think about the "we". Self serving motivation is not part of a daddies' demeanor, unless it benefits both men.

We can all learn from our dads as we evolve as daddies. Be the best daddy you can be, and everything else will fall into place.



Getting Wood?

Humorous rantings and advice by the sage of gay male sex, Woody Miller


Written by Woody Miller on November 24 2011
woody-bedroom-donts-1Hey Woody,
I loved your piece on how to make your bedroom sexier, but you left out some of the most important things: The Don'ts. Like, don't leave dirty laundry around. You'd be amazed at how many guys think you won't see stained underwear on the floor if you light some candles. Just so I can discreetly slip your column under certain doors, can you write up a list of "BEDROOM DON'Ts?"
- Been there, seen that
Dear Been There,
Einstein said two things are infinite—the universe and human stupidity. I believe he was watching gay men trying to seduce each other when he said that. So at the risk of insulting Those Who Know, there are certain things you just don't do in the bedroom if you want his pants to float to the floor.
Pictures
No photos of the family -- ESPECIALLY of your father. You don't want to point to a picture when your partner yells, "WHO'S YOUR DADDY!" It'll just confuse him.
And please, no pictures of ex-boyfriends. They're okay for one-night stands but if you actually know the name of the guy you brought home (a good sign you want to date him) then ditch the ex pics.
Pets
I love animals in the bedroom, but not if they have paws. Do you really want your cat coughing up a hairball when you yourself have a mouthful of pubes? Close the door on Fido and Frida.
Clutter
Papers, clips, staplers, pens, dirty laundry, clean laundry, keys, spare change, PLEASE. You want to disarm, not distract. And for you size queens, getting rid of clutter can make your bedroom look bigger. SCHWING!
Bills
I can't think of anything less romantic than seeing somebody's bills. They'll remind you of yours and suddenly you'll be thinking about opening envelopes instead of zippers.
Hey Woody,
Every time I go to an online cruising site I end up seeing profiles of friends or acquaintances that are supposedly in monogamous relationships. It's one thing to put a profile online if you're in an open relationship, but a lot of these guys claim they are monogamous. Aside from the hypocrisy and immorality of it all, the thing that baffles me is how these guys get away with it. Are their boyfriends that stupid?
- Online Onlooker
Dear Onlooker,
Well, they're either that stupid or the cheating boyfriends are that cunning. I'm a smart guy and I've been hoodwinked once or twice by a stud or two. I swear, this one guy, he was such a cheatin' man, when I kissed him I had to count my teeth.
Today's technology gives Men Behaving Badly a new way to misbehave. With GrindR and Manhunt's mobile service, boyfriends can REALLY stray under the radar.
Technology always has a good side/bad side aspect to it. The Good: Single guys don't have to be chained to their computer to meet guys online. The Bad: Married guys don't have to be, either.
Check out Woody's new gay dating library at Gaydatingsuccess.net

Sure is hot in here!!!

Musings and Mumblings

"I bet you can squeal like a pig" Something a top daddy says when he plays rough.

"I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?" A come-on line like I've ever heard. But only good for Gregs.

Baking cookies. You see these elves on TV baking cookies, but it ain't like that. I had this urge to bake cookies on Saturday. So I did. These are really good, melt in your mouth sugar cookies loaded with three sticks of butter, sugar, flour and lots of love. You refrigerate the dough several times, then rolling it out, then using cookier dough cutouts, make the shapes. You refrigerate one more time, then bake about 10 minutes, making sure you don't overbake.
Yummy, Yummy. And getting some spatters of cookie dough on a hairy chest and slowing licking and devouring it, it's something very heavenly. An added benefit.

"I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way." That would be my ideal man. WOOOF.

Decorating the Christmas tree. I had that pleasure this weekend as well. Getting the tree into the house is only half the battle. Putting it into the tree stand, just so, can be challenging. But it is definitely worth the effort. I like to trim lights on the tree first, then decorate it with ornaments. I got several Harley bike ornaments for the tree so naturally, they are placed first.
After another several hundred or so it seems, it's time to top the tree. I especially like that.

Hoping you guys had a great weekend, getting into playful mischief. A start of another work week is upon us. So make it happen. Big hairy muscle hugs to get your engines started. Til then.







Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The Art of Chillin Out and Enjoying some erotic ManPlay

Not much going on with me today. I'm planning on doing some stuffing, like a lot of you will do during this long Thanksgiving weekend.

 
Seeing this pic reminds me how much I enjoy nipples. I return to this topic, from time to time, but it's worth repeating.




There is nothing more enjoyable to me that man to man nipple play. It just gets me aroused big time.

 
The response of the nipple to touch is pure pleasure, almost like an out-of-body experience. Tweaking another guy's nips connects me with his pleasure. It seems like nipple play is the ties that bind some guys together. It's just a big fuckin turn-on.

 
Hoping you guys are having a super day and are gearing up for a great weekend. Turn up the heat by enjoying some hot man friction. 


And I couldn't think of any better dessert after tackling the bird than to lick some creamy chocolate flavored Readi-Whip cream off a hot guy's hairy muscled pec and filling up my beard with yummy pleasure. Now, that's nipple lickin good.

Edgy My Ass. BAREBACKING is just FUCKING STUPID!!

I really wish that I would never have to post about this subject. But barebacking goes on, and new generations of gay men are being exposed daily to HIV through risky sex

HIV and Barebacking
Is Deliberate HIV Exposure a Rite of Passage

The term barebacking originated in the gay community as a slang for unprotected anal intercourse. The term is also used but not as frequently in the heterosexual community as a reference to unprotected sexual intercourse. Who uses the term is not important. What is important is the link between HIV and barebacking. And as unlikely as it would seem, Health professionals and HIV prevention specialists are seeing an unbelievable phenomenon among a small group of gay men. These gay men have expressed the desire to to get exposed and in some cases hope for HIV infection.

Can This Be True?
Often called "bug chasers" among the gay community, these men seek out other gay men who are infected, in hopes of having unprotected sex, barebacking, in an effort to become infected with HIV. Across the Internet, chat rooms and newsgroups are advertising "conversion parties" where negative men seek out those who are positive in hopes of getting infected. This practice of having deliberate unprotected anal sex has the potential to cause widespread HIV infection, especially among gay men and men who seek out anonymous sexual partners on the Internet

How Common is This Practice
The number of gay men looking to become positive seems to be growing. In fact, the Centers for Disease Control (The CDC) reports a new surge in the incidence of HIV among gay males, in part due to this unthinkable practice. But what can drive such a desire? Why would a life with HIV be desirable to some?

Why Do Healthy Men Want To Be Infected?
There are some very strong beliefs at work among men who bareback looking for HIV infection.

• No More Isolation
For some men, being infected is a way out of their isolation and loneliness. Social stigmas and prejudices add to an already strong feeling of isolation. The belief is that once infected, they will be welcomed into a supportive community where prejudice and stigma does not exist. For these men, HIV is a rite of passage into the gay community. Being positive gets you into the "family."

A Different Perspective
When asked about being infected, men who are seeking out HIV infection show little fear. These feel HIV is simply a nuisance that can be treated with a few pills; a small price to pay to be a member of such a close knit group. One gay man reported an incredible feeling of belonging when he learned of his positive HIV status. Just as a teen-age boy joins a gang to belong to a family, so does the gay man who practice barebacking in hopes of becoming HIV positive.

A Sense of Relief
Others who become infected feel a profound sense of relief. Some sexually active gay men grow tired of living with the uncertainty of if and when they will become HIV positive. Some are so troubled by that uncertainty that multiple HIV tests become the only means of dealing with what they feel is the inevitable. One man's face glowed with a sense of relief after his doctor told him he had been infected. He would never again have to worry if he had been infected because now he knew he had.

A Sense of Intimacy
Still others are longing for a sense of intimacy. To these men, anal sex feels better and more intimate without condoms. They feel condoms decrease sensitivity and spontaniety. Others feel barebacking is a type of sexual intimacy they equate with mating and infection is equated with impregnating. Some even go as far as choosing the man who will "father" their infection. One gay man reported the most incredible feeling of intimacy being united with other gay men through HIV. Another allowed his positive partner to infect him as a way to show how deep his commitment was. Oddly enough, as soon as he found out he was positive, the man and his partner began using condoms.

What Drives the Gift Giver?
But what of the positive man who infects the willing. What drives them to knowingly give an illness to an otherwise healthy man? One "gift giver", as positive men are often called, reported,

"It was the most incredible feeling of power. I was going to take something from him, and that power gave me a rush I'd never known."

Among this population of barebackers there is a distinct connection between masculinity, sexual prowess, and intentional unprotected anal sex.

Deliberatly seeking out HIV is a practice few of us would understand. Is such a practice a cry for help, a sign of depression or just a symptom of social stigmas and prejudices? Whatever drives this practice, one thing is for certain; it helps drive the epidemic. But before we can address the issue we have to understand it. As one gay man stated soon after he found out he had become HIV positive, "It's impossible to know how great it feels unless you have been where I have."

There is NO SUBSTITUTE for Safer Sex

Stay Clean by Playing Clean

I came upon a good article recently along with a blog post by Ryan Field.   http://ryan-field.blogspot.com/2011/10/safe-sexdefensive-driving.html
 
and I wanted to share it with you. It's about safe sex and how important it is to still practice it.
 
Ryan's thoughts are timely. Safer sex is healthier sex.
 
Just because there are drugs out there that are keeping people who have HIV alive, doesn't mean all is well and there's nothing to worry about anymore.

These HIV drugs (ARVs) cost thousands of dollars a month even if you have good insurance, and most don't these days. These drugs have endless side effects and people with HIV are on them for the rest of their lives, daily. I have two close friends who are HIV positive and I know this first hand how difficult it is for them.

I always like to think of safe sex the same way I think about defensive driving. Whenever I get into my car, I always drive with the mindset that everyone else on the road is an idiot, that I can't trust them, and that I can't assume they are responsible drivers. And I think the same thing goes for sexual partners.

When it comes to sex, how much are you willing to bare? The decision to bareback is not always easy, especially when the situations and individuals involved change. If you are having anal sex with a steady partner, a regular sex buddy or a number of individuals, chances are you've been faced with the decision of whether to bareback (or have anal sex without a condom) or practice safer sex. That decision can have a lasting effect on your future. Unprotected anal sex can drastically increase your chances of contracting or transmitting HIV and other STDs.

So, why do some men still have unprotected sex? There are a number of possible reasons:

Increased Apathy Over the Transmission of HIV. Some believe the myth that, as a gay man, contracting HIV is nevitable or unavoidable or that the virus can been controlled with advanced HIV medications. HIV is still alive and well and should not be thought of as a long-term illness. Remember, there is no cure for HIV or AIDS and HIV medications do not protect you from the virus.

Anxiety Over Contracting HIV. There are instances of some men either deliberately transmitting the virus or willingly receiving HIV. The terms gift giver and bug chaser are sometimes used to describe these men, respectively. It's theorized that bug chasers willingly attempt to contract HIV due to an overwhelming anxiety over catching the virus. A bug chaser may believe it is just a matter of time before they are infected. This is a false belief. Many gay men live long and healthy lives without contracting HIV.

Both Partners Are HIV Positive. Some HIV positive men believe that since they already have the virus there is no need to have protected sex with another HIV positive man. However, HIV positive men run the risk of reinfection, which occurs when a person living with HIV gets infected a second time while having unprotected sex with another HIV infected person.

Some "Live for the Moment." There are always those that either adopt or already possess fearless "live for the moment" mentalities–accepting whatever consequences may result from their actions. Sure, sex without a condom may increase sensation or feel more spontaneous, but the risks of unprotected sex are far more real and dangerous. A moment of pleasure can lead to a lifetime of illness.

Low Self-Esteem. A person with lower self-esteem can often run the risk of following the direction of a more confident sex partner. Protect your health, even if your partner claims that he can't get erect with a condom on or urges you to have unprotected sex for just a while. Also, keep your own self-confidence in perspective. Thinking you may lose a chance to be with a great guy or that you'll ruin a sensual moment will only put you at increased risk of contracting an STD or HIV. Part of him respecting you and part of you respecting yourself is protecting your health.

Drug Use. Using drugs like ecstasy, viagra or crystal meth can impair judgment and has been shown to increase the chances of having unprotected sex. The moment of a drug high may seem unforgettable, but majority of men remember little, including the sex, after coming down. Don't be caught in a situation where you have to remember an encounter that may have given you an unforgettable disease.

Sure, there are benefits to having bareback anal sex, like increased sensation in the penis, greater feeling of closeness to partners, and increased spontaneous. However, the benefits don't outweigh the potential dangers. Not only is there risk of infecting a partner, but you put yourself at risk, as well.

What If Both Partners Are Negative?

When it comes to barebacking partners should be cautious, even when they are both HIV negative. According to About.com's former HIV/AIDS expert Mark Cichocki, R.N.:

"While it is safe to bareback when both partners are disease free, the key is making sure both partners are disease free. The only way you can be 100% sure that is the case is by getting HIV and STD tests," Mark warns. "You cannot just go on someone’s word with this one. Many people don’t know they are infected and unfortunately people are not always 100% truthful when it comes to their sexual history."

Monogamy is also an important factor in maintaining a disease-free relationship. Bringing up the topic of monogamy and commitment are not one time couple conversatoins. You have to check in with your man often.

Even in the midst of a good monogamous bond, the headlights of life can blind us from the potential potholes of a relationship. In reality, some (and I stress some, not all) guys do cheat. We hope that they won't, but some do. There are no guarantees and you don't want to be surprised, especially when your health is at risk.

Always keep talks about safer sex and monogamy in your relationship current and relevant. As Mark advises, go get tested together before barebacking. Remember, there are other pesky bugs besides HIV, so get tested for STDs as well. Then, talk about monogamy in your relationship. Be clear about each others' expectations. For the sake of your health, both partners need to be open and honest with each other at all times. Set the tone early and maintain it throughout your relationship.

Even if you aren't in a relationship, you can never be too cautious when it comes to your health. Never simply take someone's word when it comes to STDs or HIV. The risks are too great and are never outweighed by the pleasure of barebacking.

 


 

 

I commend guys who keep themselves clean and play safer using condoms. But this viscious spread of STD's makes playing very, very risky.

So guys, try not to go blindly into a sexual tryst. It's not only the crabs we're talking about, it's much,much more.

Buddy body bonding should be fun, not a horror story. Treat your body as a temple so that other hot guys can worship it safely. WOOF

"Safer Sex" is the Best Sex.

Taking the Risky Out of Being Frisky

Guys seem to feel that they don't have to be risky just to be frisky.

Is being tame, lame? You guys decide after reading this timely article.
I'm recycling an article from a previous blog post. It is as timely now as it was then.

The End of Public Sex
Why isn't anyone fucking anymore?
by Steve Weinstein
June 17th, 2008 12:00 AM


On the night before Memorial Day last month, several hundred men were packed into the top floor of a building in the meatpacking district. A DJ spun in a corner while bartenders frantically poured vodka into paper cups. A few of the men—most of them older—had checked their clothes, but the younger ones were keeping theirs on. In a few darkened corners, there were a few guys giving blowjobs and some ass play; overall, however, the scene could have passed for a typical holiday weekend at any East Village gay bar.


What was most notable about this party wasn't that a few people were—somewhat desultorily—playing around. Rather, it's how many didn't seem to evince the slightest interest in a hookup of any kind. Despite the heat (no fans, let alone air conditioning), the naked go-go boys and the alcohol people seemed content to make chitchat. And whatever little sex was going on, most seemed oblivious to it.


In 2002, I wrote the Voice's cover story for the Pride issue on "The Return of Public Sex." I chronicled the explosion in sex venues, from clubs to private parties to backroom bars: "After years of AIDS anxiety and government repression, gay public sex is bigger and better than ever," I wrote.
What a difference six years make.

The city has shut down all but two bathhouses and every known sex club in Manhattan, as well as citing bars, clubs, and private parties where inspectors find any men-on-men action. The few entrepreneurs still out there complain about apathy and different priorities among younger gay men.

Daniel Nardicio, the promoter who put on the Memorial Day–eve event, sees himself as a veteran of the battle to bring sleaze to the masses. He's perhaps best known for TigerBeat—underwear parties held at the Slide on the Bowery, where everyone had to check his (or, occasionally, her) clothes. The city shut down TigerBeat in 2004 by orders from the Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, citing complaints about sexual activity.


Since then, Nardicio has been a nomad, exploring various venues. He's had bathing-suit parties at a Turkish sauna on Wall Street; organized a road trip to Atlantic City; and tried out a Chinatown photo studio, other Lower East Side bars, and, most recently, the meatpacking-district loft space. His themes always brush the far end of good taste: For Memorial Day, he gave out Fleet Enemas. So he doesn't blame the authorities for the lack of sexual license as much as a fundamental change in the attitudes of gay men themselves.

"These things are ending because people don't want them anymore," he says. "People are spoiled, petulant, uninteresting. I've been throwing outrageous parties again and again for years, but the only time I was busted was at the Slide."

Like everyone else these days, Nardicio blames the Internet for the lack of public engagement. Even so, he adds: "If people wanted dirty, raunchy parties in New York, it would happen. But people don't want it."

If there's a generational shift between post-Stonewall gay men and their younger counterparts, it's that the latter are more interested in fashionista kiss-kiss cocktail soirees like Hiro at the Maritime Hotel and Beige at B Bar: "People are so obsessed about how they look," Nardicio complains. "Everyone wants to pretend they're an A&F model."

For some, this new attitude may mark a healthy and normal progression—from the generation that had to fight for its right to party to a new breed fighting for the right to marry and serve openly in the military. Today, it's easier than ever to come out, and people are doing it in high school or even before. Coming out so early in life, they don't feel as alienated from straight women—or, increasingly, men. Rather than facing discrimination and alienation, they can look forward to marriage and children: "They're not feeling as marginalized," Nardicio says. "Young guys are not as interested in a gay-only scene."

Even on the Internet, young guys are at least as interested in social- networking sites like MySpace as hooking up on Manhunt. "The 21-year-olds are interested in dating," Nardicio notes. "There's a lot less self-hatred."

Still, there's no question that Mayor Bloomberg's administration hasn't exactly been sex-positive. Rumblings about the city's policy came to a boil in January, when a reporter at the local newspaper Gay City News obtained a copy of an internal memo recommending that the city's health commissioner move aggressively to monitor sex clubs more closely or shut them down altogether.

Since the memo was leaked, city officials have been talking out of both sides of their mouths. On the one hand, public faces for the administration like Dr. Monica Sweeney—a top official working on AIDS prevention and services—have been attending public forums where, in Sweeney's case, she patiently explains over and over that there is no organized pogrom against public sex: "There have been no plans at all in the Department of Health to close commercial sex venues," she stated at a heated meeting at the LGBT Center in February.

The city's actions, however, tell a very different story. Manhattan's three best-known sex clubs—El Mirage, the Studio, and the Comfort Zone—have all been shuttered: El Mirage two years ago, the other two much more recently. The Wall Street Sauna was closed in 2004, leaving the city with two bathhouses, the East Side Club and the West Side Club. Bars like the Cock, the Eagle, the Slide, and Boysroom have been cited for various violations. Mr. Black, perhaps the most popular hangout for the city's younger gay set, was shut down last year for alleged drug dealing on the premises.

One of the last remaining owners of a Manhattan sex club tried to play ball with the city: He contracted with Positive Health Project, a local AIDS-information service known for its outreach, to give safe-sex demonstrations, lectures, and offer HIV testing. Condoms in bowls were everywhere, as were safer-sex messages. None of that satisfied city inspectors, who then raided the club for alleged building-code violations.

All of this leaves a few vocal gay men outraged—most of them older. Eric Rofes, the California academic who wrote extensively on the positive aspects of gay sex before his death in 2006, spoke passionately at the LGBT Center two years ago about the need for random interactions and meeting places in the age of the Internet. He decried the "disappearance or diminution of sex-site premises," such as gay bookstores (where men can have sex in semi-private stalls), and the "privatization of sexual cultures," such as the leather and S&M scenes—all dismissed as tired or played out by the next generation of gay men.

The site of Nardicio's party was emblematic of the fundamental changes that have taken place in the city: Much of Cruising, the infamous Hollywood version of rampant gay sex in the '70s, was filmed there. Portraying a man dying of AIDS in The Hours, actor Ed Harris threw himself out of one of its windows. This is where the Hellfire Club once hosted S&M parties for straights, gays, and everything in between; now, moneyed Europeans and Wall Street traders dine on raw meat of a very different kind.

To be sure, people are still having sex. But compared to the bad old days of 2002, it's a movable feast and ever more underground. A recent issue of HX, a local gay-party weekly, listed 24 private clubs, from the New York Bondage Club to Foot Friends (foot fetishists), Golden Showers of America (water sports—i.e., piss), Bear Hunt NYC (fans of the heavy-set and hirsute), and Thugs4Thugs (exclusively blacks and Latinos). And those are only the ones listed; other clubs, such as New York by Night, which meets monthly in a Hell's Kitchen apartment, and NYC Jock Party, in Brooklyn, limit themselves to e-mail lists and references.

Those who defend such parties point to isolation and fear as the prime causes of HIV infection. Shutting down places where people can have sex, they argue, is like shutting down bars because people get drunk. Prohibition proved that didn't work, and neither will pretending that all gay men will go to California to get hitched if they're denied group sex. Perry Halkitis, a professor of psychology at NYU, compares such attempts to the arcade game Whack-a-Mole: "You hit the mole, others pop up," he said at a public forum earlier this year.

Others, however, just stay down. On a nondescript side street in southern Hell's Kitchen a few weeks ago, a former sex club held an unusual "yard sale." Items like an industrial-strength sling, leather outfits, and sex toys were being sold by the owner (who asked that his name not be used). He says that he provided condoms and lube for his patrons but couldn't—and wouldn't—turn his staff into sex police. "If you go to a club and there are condoms supplied for free, isn't that better than going to someone's home where there are no condoms available?" he asks. "People take a handful when they leave. When we close down, these people will still be having sex with each other. They'll just have to look harder."

New York, he sighs, has fallen behind other world cities: "Everywhere is more sexually happening," he complains. "I love New York—I can't live anywhere else. The problem is, it's so unmotivated, so uptight right now."

Mike Peyton, a promoter active in the fetish scene, believes that there's still a desire for hot sex, whether in public, in private, or online. "We pioneered it; we rivaled everybody," he says. "It's not just sex—it's erotic expression. When the meatpacking district was in full swing, there were tranny hookers, clubs like the Mine Shaft, the trucks. It's sad to see that go. New York was once the bastion of freewheeling sex. Now it's lost."

Definitely food for thought no matter where you live. Be sexy, be safe. And remember to spread those Mega Hairy Muscle Hugs around.

Our Body, Ourselves

Love Your Body, And All of Your Body Parts, But Make Sure It is the Best Body It Can Be.

The Advocate, which I have stopped reading last year, ran an article several years ago, which you may find interesting about body image.
See what you think.

The Naked Truth

Twenty-two people of all shapes and sizes strip down, pose, and spill their guts about what they love and hate about their bodies.

Click the byline to view more stories by this author.Photography by Eric Schwabel
A shorter version of this story appeared in The Advocate September 23, 2008

They say you can see a person’s soul if you stare into his eyes—but perhaps the quickest way to really know someone is to have him take off his clothes. That’s why we asked 22 people to undress and bare their insecurities. Some of their hang-ups are unexpected (Really? Too big!?), others are heart-wrenching. All of them will have you looking at yourself differently the next time you’re naked. Click on the links below for profiles, photos, and video for each of the participants.

Jim Andre, 60San Luis Obispo, Calif.Likes: arms, chest Dislikes: waistline
Gustavo Marzolla, 32Belo Horizonte, Brazil Likes: face, chest Dislikes: legs
Willam Belli, 24Philadelphia Likes: nose, torso Dislikes: scarred left leg
Dasha Snyder, 38Baltimore Likes: brain and feet—“because they get me where I’m going”Dislikes: scarred abdomen
Patrick Henry, 40Taos, N.M.Likes: chest hair and muscle Dislikes: weight—too skinny
Chad Darnell, 35Atlanta Likes: hands Dislikes: stomach
Trevor Wayne, 30All over the Midwest Likes: everything that’s tattooed Dislikes: forehead
Mark Hersh, 39Newport Beach, Calif.Likes: chest, eyes Dislikes: abs, buttocks
Sean Ching, (age undisclosed)Hawaii Likes: his muscles Dislikes: he sometimes feels fat
Jim Morris, 73New York City Likes: body Dislikes: face
Rodrigo Toledo, 32Rio de Janeiro Likes: hands, chest Dislikes: that he breaks out
Jeff Lukomski, 44Detroit Likes: smile, eyes Dislikes: penis -- too big
Calpernia Addams, 37Nashville Likes: eyes Dislikes: “I’m too tall and too big”
Shawnee Harkins, 26Dallas Likes: arms, shoulders, triceps, rear Dislikes: abs

Corey Saucier, 31Los Angeles Likes: masculine frame Dislikes: stomach
J.T. Chestnut, 19Rock Ridge–Wilson, N.C.Likes: legs Dislikes: belly button, nose
Jim Howley, 33Hilliard, Ohio Likes: heart, eyes Dislikes: “I love all of myself”
Alex LiMandri, 30Metz, France Likes: chest Dislikes: legs
Carlos Fierros, 23Oakley, Calif.Likes: face, legs Dislikes: stomach
Profiles by Neal Broverman, Kyle Buchanan, Japhy Grant

Be happy with your body, but strive to make it the best body it can be.
There is no such thing as the Adonis look. Male Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder.
Some parts we can never really appreciate about ourselves, because we never see them in the right light. So graciously accept any and all comments about your strong back, shoulders, and butt cheeks.
As I have stated earlier, I can find at least something positive, great, erotic, about every male body. So check out your assets, work on what's great about your body, accentuate the positive, and go for it.
I challenge you to a 60 day hunky bod workout. Let me know how it goes.
Giving you mega hairy muscle hugs of encouragement. You got the bod, now make it happen.

It's a Gay Thing

We Are What We Are. The Biology of Gayness



Born that gay
Do recent neurological studies prove once and for all that homosexuality is biological?
 
A study several years ago explored this subject.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

See what you think after reading this latest scientific study about why we are gay.

As the accuracy and resolution of brain imaging improve, we can expect virtually all behavior to be shown to be associated with demonstrable brain changes. It shouldn't come as a surprise that imaging studies of sexual orientation are increasingly revealing anatomic and functional differences between "straight" and "gay" brains. But demonstrating such changes doesn't answer the age-old question of how much our sexual preferences are innate and how much they are fueled by environmental exposure, cultural norms and conscious personal choices.
One way to distinguish the effects of nature from nurture would be to look at brain regions believed by neuro-anatomists to be fully formed at birth and impervious to subsequent environmental effects, both physical and psychological. Focusing on such brain regions, a research team at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden, headed by neuroscientist Ivanka Savic, obtained MRIs for 90 adult volunteers -- 25 straight men, 25 straight women, 20 gay men and 20 lesbians. Using the latest quantitative techniques for assessing cerebral symmetry and functional connections between various areas of brain, Savic was able to demonstrate highly statistically significant differences between straight and gay brains. Gay and lesbian brains more closely resembled the brains of straight volunteers of the opposite sex than the brains of heterosexual members of the same sex.

In their study, reported in the June 16, 2008, issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, Savic said, "This is the most robust measure so far of cerebral differences between homosexual and heterosexual subjects." Although Savic admits that her study cannot distinguish between genetic or prenatal intrauterine environmental changes, such as relative differences in sex hormone levels, her studies do suggest that our sexual preferences are, at least in large part, determined by the time of birth.

Not long after reading the study, the author got a call from neurologist Jerome Goldstein, M.D., 67, once a fellow resident in the UCSF neurology training program. This fall, Goldstein, an internationally respected headache researcher and sometimes controversial gay activist, is giving a series of lectures on the innate biology of gayness. He was phoning to ask if I had seen the study and if I might write about the latest scientific evidence supporting the biology of gayness. I decided to interview him instead. Goldstein is compact, rapid-talking and constantly on the verge of impatience. Yet during our conversations he was subdued, confessional in tone, with frequent pauses to gather his thoughts; the seriousness of his concerns was palpable.


Jerry, you've been an outspoken gay activist for 40-plus years. Why the sudden interest in the biology of sexual orientation?

I was aware that I was attracted to men by age 8, even though I did not have any gay sexual experiences until I was 19. Meanwhile, despite having no sex or even a clear understanding of what homosexuality meant, virtually everyone that I encountered, including my dear parents, made a point of telling me that homosexuality was dirty, sinful and a phase that would pass.
Beginning my sophomore year in college, and before my first gay experience, I began the endless rounds of psychiatrists and counselors. I even tried to modify my behavior to make it acceptable. Sadly, even though I now know better, and am fully aware of the overwhelming evidence as to the underlying neurobiologic predisposition to gayness, I have never been able to entirely shake this feeling of guilt and wrongdoing. Future generations should be spared. Right now, I'm interested in seeing that good science prevails over outdated, misguided psychology and false-headed thinking that homosexuality is a conscious choice.

Do you think people accept that homosexuality arises out of biological predispositions?

Only on the surface. Down deep, there's a lingering suspicion that, even if the cause is biological, there is something intrinsically wrong with being gay. It has been 35 years since homosexuality was removed from a psychiatric diagnostic category and we [still] don't see the changes in the way people think. Sadly, even our major neurological societies haven't taken a serious look at the biology of sexual orientation. For example, when was the last time that you saw the American Academy of Neurology even address the subject? And the general public? Just listen to right-wing talk show hosts offering to pray for my sins. Or look at the damage caused by the religious right and its "conversion therapy," which attempts to alter an inborn characteristic of human behavior. I don't want pity and sympathy, I want scientific understanding based on logic and reason.

Could you give me a brief rundown of what you think is the most compelling evidence supporting the biology of gayness?

Keep in mind that sexual orientation is exceedingly complex and not reducible to a single gene or hormonal aberration, or explained by demonstrable anatomic brain differences. But by examining multiple lines of evidence, you can begin to connect the dots as to how biology influences sexual preferences. With these caveats in mind, let's look at the history leading up to the present functional imaging studies.

In 1991, Simon LeVay, formerly a professor of neuroscience at Harvard and the Salk Biological Institute, claimed to have discovered specific anatomic differences between gay and straight brains, primarily in a region of the hypothalamus believed to have a major influence on sexual behavior. By the way, this region's fetal development is greatly influenced by the levels of intrauterine testosterone, a major reason why intrauterine shifts of sex hormone levels are thought by some researchers to contribute to sexual preference.

But LeVay's work was considered controversial, nonreproducible, and part of a gay political agenda. The real take-away was the promise that neuroscience might one day offer better insights into the origins of homosexuality.

At the same time, there were a variety of quasi-scientific studies claiming to uncover markers for "gay tendencies." One suggested that you could tell whether or not you're gay by whether your hair whorl -- that patch of hair on the crown of your head -- curled clockwise or counterclockwise. Another suggested that you could tell by the relative symmetry of your second and fourth digits. Those studies weren't exactly good science and certainly didn't make the biology of sexual orientation an attractive area for basic research funding.

Early genetic studies also ran into major criticisms. In the early '90s, Dean Hamer of the National Cancer Institute raised the possibility of "a gay gene." His studies met the same criticisms asserting that that single genes don't cause complex behavior. On a YouTube video, Hamer denies the idea of a single gene for gayness.

But what has emerged from the genetic approach is incontrovertible evidence that sexual preference runs in families. Several independent large-scale studies show that a man with a gay identical twin brother will have between a 33 and 52 percent chance of being gay -- a rate far higher than is seen in the general population. But even here, one could argue that half to two-thirds of genetically similar twins will not have the same sexual orientation. Naysayers have used this fact as evidence that, even in the face of similar genetics, each of us retains the ability to consciously choose and control our sexual preferences.

Of course, this is a ridiculous argument. Genes can be variably expressed, depending upon environmental factors. And no one is saying that genes are the sole cause of sexual behavior; nongenetic factors are likely to also play a major role. It's entirely conceivable that identical twins with a similar genetic predisposition for homosexuality but exposed to different intrauterine testosterone levels will end up with different sexual orientations.

Let's talk about your take on the new brain-imaging studies.

Begin with Dr. Savic's work on pheromones. It's fairly common knowledge that, throughout the animal kingdom, sniffing chemicals secreted by other members of the same species -- pheromones -- can invoke innate behaviors such as a flight response in aphids, aggression in bees, trail marking in ants. We forgive our pet cat for marking our favorite couch as "her territory." All of these are basic survival techniques with clear evolutionary benefits. Ditto for chemicals involved in "being in heat."

What's fascinating about Savic and her colleagues' study was their ability to test the role of pheromones in identifying human sexual orientation.
Functional imaging studies or PET scans of heterosexual controls were compared with a group of gay and lesbian volunteers. All subjects were asked to sniff gender-specific sex-hormone-like compounds: AND for the androgen-like pheromones secreted by males and EST for the estrogen-like pheromones secreted by females.

To enhance normal reproduction, you'd expect that males would be attracted to EST and females to AND. But Savic found that these self-declared gays and lesbians process these pheromones differently than their heterosexual counterparts.
When exposed to the male pheromone AND, homosexual men tended to respond similarly to heterosexual women, both in brain location and degree of activation. On the other hand, gay women responded to EST similarly to straight men.
In short, it looks as though straight men and gay women processed similarly while the converse is true for straight women and gay men.

But her pheromone study still doesn't answer the nature-nurture question. These PET scan differences could reflect the consequences of a behavior rather than necessarily being indicative of the cause of the behavior.

But that's what makes her study so important, and allows her to draw the most important conclusion -- that sexual orientation is determined prior to exposure to life's environmental influences. Savic has assured me that these findings aren't "learned" but rather reflect either genetic or intrauterine developmental differences. And, unlike some of the early researchers, Savic can't be accused of having a gay political agenda or bias. Her field was originally epilepsy research. She inadvertently stumbled onto the pheromone sex differences while studying how smells might trigger temporal lobe epilepsy.

You've seen the studies. How impressive are the differences?

There are obvious-to-the-naked-eye differences in cerebral symmetry and in the functional connections in various portions of the limbic system, including the differing degrees of connectivity between amygdala and other brain regions critical for emotional responsiveness. It's as though you can actually see the brain changes that most gays have always suspected; and, believe me, it's a great relief to realize that these findings are clearly present at birth and aren't anyone's "fault." They simply are [present] in the same way that one has blue eyes or red hair.
No more and no less.

In thinking about sexual orientation as a choice, isn't there also the problem of how unconscious biological traits affect conscious decisions?

Of course. In a way, choosing a sex partner is like choosing what you eat; it might feel like a choice, but biology plays a major, though unconscious, role.

I presume that you are alluding to the recent studies of the genetics of taste?

Yes. Take our ability to taste bitterness. A single gene, isolated in 2003, determines whether or not foods such as Brussels sprouts are experienced as bitter. Remember how our parents insisted that we could learn to like Brussels sprouts; if we didn't, we were accused of being finicky eaters, or worse. Now, we would be sent for genetic testing.

Are you equating homosexuality with a taste for Brussels sprouts?

Very interesting and funny. But sex is much more complex and emotionally charged as a point of discussion than taste. But yes, in a larger sense, genetics helps determine the shape of desire.


Are you suggesting that outside influences -- parental, peer group and general cultural -- aren't important in determining our sexual preferences?

Not entirely. I'm saying that these influences are far less potent than the biological. Certainly there are a variety of strictly environmental circumstances, such as long-term prison incarceration, that might trigger homosexual behavior. But then you run into the reverse argument. Given that lots of men are confined to prison, only some end up with homosexual behavior. Perhaps these circumstances still reflect a combination of biology and environment. Right now, all bets are off.

There is the additional problem that you discussed at length in your recent book, "On Being Certain," namely, how conscious decisions can be affected by unconscious biological mechanisms. The same biology that affects our sexual desires may also affect how we consciously think about these desires.

In a separate study (PDF), Savic has shown that differential responses to pheromones even affect how we determine the relative masculinity or femininity of facial images. Savic presented male volunteers with a series of facial images and asked them to rate the faces on a scale of masculine to feminine. When inhaling a masculine pheromone, the volunteers perceived the faces to be more masculine than when they were exposed to estrogen-like pheromones.

What's so intriguing about this study is that it shows how simple chemicals can actually affect our visual perception of gender. It's not a great leap of imagination to see how these same chemicals might influence whether an adolescent male chooses to read a muscle magazine or Playboy.

Do you think these studies can help counter fundamentalist arguments that homosexuality is evil?

Accepting sexual preference as an innate characteristic is an essential first step. But this sidesteps the more deep-seated gut sense that homosexuality isn't natural and goes against the laws of nature. This argument can be partially defused by recognizing how ubiquitous homosexual behavior is in the animal kingdom -- starting with the lowliest fruit fly. I'm sure you're aware that there is a single gene, which, in the fruit fly, can turn on and off homosexual behavior.

But in the end, I suspect that real acceptance will only come about when we have a much more comprehensive view of how the mind works, including how we make conscious choices versus how much of our apparent willfulness arises out of involuntary biological mechanisms.
Let's all pay homage to the fruit fly by grabbing your snuggle buddy and giving him "Mega Hairy Muscle hugs". And forget the mind games, after all, we are what we are.
 
So remember to eat your brussel sprouts. And throw in some spinach for good measure.
Your musclebear Popeye may be closer than you think. WOOF

Rediscovering Marsden Hartley




I recently discovered the works of Marsden Hartley. His art captures the male form as few artists of the 20th century have achieved. His masterpieces are timeless. These models could have lived today.
 
Below is an exerpt of Mardsen's life and his talent from a press release announcing a special exhibit of his work at the Bates College Museum of Art in Maine.

Born in Lewiston, Maine in 1877 to immigrant parents, Marsden Hartley achieved recognition as a painter and poet late in life.

In a letter dated December 20, 1942, Hartley wrote to his favorite niece Norma Berger, "When I am no longer here my name will register forever in the history of American art." Evidence of the artist’s efforts to establish his name and to fix himself in the collective memory of the public, his friends, and family, can be found throughout the Bates College Museum of Art’s collection.
Hartley’s personal archive not only provides a wealth of information about the artist’s life, relationships, and interests, but demonstrates his attempt to construct both a personal history and a public identity.

Hartley was fascinated with autobiography from the early stages of his career. Through self-portraiture and prolific writing, he chronicled his life partly in an effort to prove to himself that it had been worthwhile. Friends and acquaintances often described the artist as lonely, anxious, frustrated, gloomy, and bitter – yet lighthearted and affectionate "when he thought he was being liked or loved."
In a life largely spent unsettled, collecting photographs of others, and sharing images of himself was a way to maintain relationships and initiate new ones. Hartley’s ongoing struggle to find his place – geographically, philosophically, artistically, and as a gay man – is documented in his writing, reflected in his work, and revealed through a study of his archive.

Along with 99 drawings, the Marsden Hartley Memorial Collection contains a large number of photographs, including personal snapshots, formal portraits, and studio reference materials. As part of the Museum’s collection of Hartley ephemera, these images function as important documents of his life, interests, and studio practices.

 
Hartley recognized the power of the photographic image and believed in the "honesty" of the medium and its ability to communicate, which he attempted to control. Photography allowed the artist to portray himself in any image he desired: New York modernist, European aesthete, native Mainer.
 
In honor of this great contemporary American artist, celebrate his works by giving Mega Hairy Muscle Hugs in abundance as we celebrate a new chapter in American history.

Say "hell NO!" to the Manscaping grooming agenda. Never shave your manfur.

Don't cave into the Manscape craze. Dump the Razor, dudes and stay naturally Hairy






I realize that there are more pressing issues in the world today, but when it comes to shaving body hair, that, to me, is an issue worth discussing.

I love male body hair. I am hairy and I want to see other guys embrace what God has given them.

Say NO to the urge to shave and cream away body hair. Take a manly stance.

Mega HAIRY muscle hugs of camaraderie and hirsute bonding. We hairy guys need to stick together.

Men are going hairless in increasing numbers

12:00 AM CDT on Monday, July 13, 2009

By CATHERINE SAINT LOUIS New York Times News Service


American women didn't shave their armpits en masse until the 1920s, after a storm of sleeveless dresses and advertising by depilatory makers that characterized underarm hair as ugly.

By the 1930s, beauty writers scolded women with forests of leg hair under their silk stockings. Decades later, girls coming of age no longer needed to be told their leg hair was unsightly. They got rid of it.

Can the same thing happen with men?

These days, the hair on men's chests, backs, armpits and even "down there" has become suspect – if you believe the marketing campaigns. Several recent online videos created by brands such as Gillette recast body-hair removal as the domain of average Joes.

Having a chest as smooth as Matthew McConaughey's is old hat for competitive swimmers, urbane metrosexuals and some gay men. To play Brüno, a gay fashion reporter who favors hot pants, the formerly hirsute Sacha Baron Cohen endured repeated waxathons.

But evidence from market research and academia indicates that more men are removing body hair. The phenomenon skews to mostly college-age guys or those in their 30s. Reasons run the gamut from Because My Girlfriend Likes It to a desire to flaunt a six-pack or be clean.

"It used to be a hallmark of male models and homosexuals," said Kat Fay, a senior analyst at Mintel, who writes an annual men's grooming report. She added that the high-maintenance primping of metrosexuals was clustered in cities; by contrast, this campaign has "more of an everyday middle-America feel."

Little research has been done on male body depilation. Michael Boroughs, a psychology graduate student at the University of South Florida, has done studies that showed that more than 80 percent of men surveyed at the school use some sort of body depilation. Numbers were similar for gay and straight men.

Unsurprisingly, the loudest voices making the case for so-called manscaping are the creators of shaving gear. What may surprise, however, is how candid the "manscaping" pitches are.

In May, Gillette started a series of videos online suggesting that men go further with body shaving. The rationale varied by part.

Chest? "A sweater should be bought not grown."
Armpits? "An empty stable smells better than a full one."

And their coup de grâce is the groin: "Trees look taller when there's no underbrush."

A muscular cartoon with pixeled privates even shows how to get bare without putting "your equipment at risk."

On the site for Nivea for Men, Jislain Duval, a Canadian model, demonstrates its Active3 shower gel by shaving starlike patterns around his nipples. As he gazes at his private parts, the camera stays waist-up; yet, the scene doesn't leave much to the imagination.

A comely blonde turns feral at the sight of a cleanshaven chest in a video ad for Braun's BodycruZer, a precision trimmer with a Gillette blade.

In late May, Gillette's How to Shave Your Groin video ranked No. 3 on a list of the top online video advertisements compiled by Visible Measures, an Internet video measurement firm.

Showing men removing their body hair normalizes it. "Just having a video that's not threatening is helping them say it's fine," said Nicolas Maurer, the vice president for marketing at Beiersdorf USA, of which Nivea is a brand. "That's a kind of reassurance for guys."

Yet, do women prefer their men sleek? Not necessarily. Hairless armpits can be a deal breaker, which is odd, because those female naysayers may shave their underarms. Constant YouTube presence Asbellgrad commented about a Gillette video: "Trust me, a girl is turned off by a man who shaves his armpits. It's kind of weird and creepy. Unless you're an Olympic swimmer."

Plenty of female commenters online dislike suitors with less body hair than they have. As Eleanorxjane wrote about a chest-shaving video on YouTube, "I want a real man, not one that's trying to look like he's 12 again!"

Having hair on one's chest – as the expression suggests – signals maturity and boldness. Think Hugh Jackman.

Will today's minority of men engaging in body shaving one day be the majority? Boroughs thinks we are on our way. He has heard from bewildered parents whose teenage sons shaved their chests and ended up with ingrown hairs. In the future, Boroughs wonders, "Are prepubescent boys going to feel pressure to shave like girls do?"